life, philosophy

They Make You Feel Inferior

Many organizations do it.

They make you feel inferior about intangible factors by showing you supposedly superior benchmarks. They follow with an insidious suggestion that you can somewhat close the gap if you purchase their commodities.

Lies

Some fashion companies show you desirable models; and plant the idea that desirable people use their products. Your subliminal function starts to believe that you will be desirable if you purchase some of their commodities.

Some entertainment companies show you elegant characters in their movies; and while selling you tickets already, they plant the idea for your next purchase that you can be elegant if you purchase the commodities you see in the movie.

Some instrument companies show you virtuoso players; and plant the idea that you can improve your music if you purchase the gear they use.

Some food companies couple healthy people with their products via ads & articles; and plant the idea that you will be unhealthy if you don’t consume their products.

Even drug lords do it. They impose the false belief that using drugs will make you cool by furtively annunciating that your favorite artists use drugs. Thug life video series is also part of the plan – they plant the false belief that winners have hats, sunglasses and smoke pot.

The Truth

The truth is; hygiene factors (commodities) can’t make up for lack of motivators (character).

If you are desirable, any garment will look good on you. Garments won’t make you desirable.

If you are elegant, it doesn’t really matter which commodity you use. Commodities won’t make you elegant.

If you know music, you can make good music with any instrument. You don’t need an expensive guitar; it won’t improve your music dramatically.

You can’t make it rain by opening your umbrella.

Misdirection

Self improvement is a natural orientation, and there is nothing wrong with it. You can choose a journey towards a higher version of yourself.

But that is an internal journey.

The organizations in question are repulsively using your natural aspiration for growth against you. They maliciously manipulate your psychological mechanism to create a misdirection.

You are deceived with an illusion that you will satisfy your spiritual demands if you simply give them money in exchange for their trifling products.

The truth is; purchasing things doesn’t help. It even handicaps you from climbing the stairs towards your higher self.

Direction

We are all different mixtures, and each of us walk a different path. What you need to focus is the higher version of your original self.

You can safely ignore dishonestly idealized models, which only suggest that you are inferior and must buy their products if you want to catch up.

What you see and like in those models is merely the higher version of you. Not the commodities in their surroundings.

There is nothing to catch up. You are unique already, you are who and what you need to be. Instead of investing money on commodities crippling your growth, invest time on growing your original self.

That’s what you are really longing for. Not some object.

See your higher self, make a plan towards it, and walk the path.

That’s where you really want to be. Not some surrounding.

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life, philosophy

Expanding The Mind

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When you make an observation, it leaves a mark in your mind. This is called a memory. Memories can be mental or emotional.

Memories cost time. Since time is a scarce resource, it would be wise to make meaningful and useful memories.


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When you make multiple observations, you end up carrying multiple memories.


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The mind typically processes the memories and builds a pattern. This pattern is called an opinion.

The mind likes economy. Instead of keeping all the memories, it is easier to keep an opinion. Therefore; memories can be forgotten, but opinions tend to linger.


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When you have multiple opinions, the mind processes them and builds a macro pattern. This pattern is called a mindset.

Because the mind likes economy, it starts to automatically catch & process & evaluate the inputs based on the mindset. That’s where illusionary concepts are born; such as selective perception and stereotyping.


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If you have only one mindset, you can understand and process only a small percentage of the phenomenon existing in the world. Fanatics are typical examples.

When someone shares an advice or opinion, question his/her mind span.

When you judge or conclude about something, question your own mind span.


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If you take your time to make further observations in an emphatic, flexible and open minded approach, your mind can build more patterns. This will enable you to have a broader range of mindsets.

Observing foreign cultures, experimenting out of the comfort zone, facing fears and listening to alternative / opposing sources are typical examples of such expansions.


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A broader range of mindsets can cover a larger percentage of the phenomenon in the world. You end up understanding the world more accurately and holistically.

You might also become more mature and understanding because you start seeing the mechanism behind things much better.


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Coverage of multiple mindsets would obviously be deeper than the coverage of a single mindset.

Someone with a larger mind span will probably make more accurate conclusions and decisions.


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Mind is not the last stop. Meditation can help you go beyond the mind, understand that you are not your mind, and see things more clearly.

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life, philosophy

Two Factor Theory: An Approach to Life Satisfaction

During my conversations, a subject I often need to address is overall life satisfaction. Having more possessions or luxury in life is supposed to bring satisfaction; but in fact, they often reduce life satisfaction instead.

In this article, I will explain this phenomenon with the help of Herzberg’s “Two Factor Theory”, and discuss why you would want to have motivators for a balanced life satisfaction.

Two Factor Theory

In the academic world of motivation, Herzberg came up with a theory called “Two Factor Theory”. According to his approach; a workplace has two sets of factors.

Hygiene factors cover the materialistic elements; such as job security, salary, benefits, laptop quality, vacations, etc. Those factors can carry an employee from the point of dissatisfaction to a neutral point, but they won’t really satisfy and motivate.

Motivators cover internal factors; such as recognition, responsibility, meaningfulness, decisiveness, initiative, sense of importance, etc. Those factors can carry an employee from the neutral point to the point of satisfaction and motivation.

Every work position will fulfill a certain degree of hygiene factors & motivators. Some positions will bring high hygiene + high motivation, which is the ideal situation. Some will bring high hygiene + low motivation, where employees will have few complaints but no motivation. Some will bring low hygiene + high motivation, where employees will be engaged but will complain a lot. Some will bring low hygiene + low motivation, where employees will seek their way out of the company.

The basic idea is; hygiene factors won’t satisfy and motivate. Motivators do. But motivators won’t work if your hygiene factors lack dramatically.

Implementation To Life

Now, let’s project this idea to our lives.

Life, in general, has hygiene factors as well. Car brands, smartphone, pretty clothes, physical appearance, a house, restaurants, luxury vacations, fashion hair styles are all hygiene factors. Projecting Herzberg’s idea, those factors can carry you from the point of life dissatisfaction to a neutral point, but they won’t really satisfy and motivate.

On the other hand, life has motivators as well. Good health, clean conscience, usefulness, selflessness, success, personal development, helping others are some of the significant motivators in life. Projecting Herzberg’s idea, those factors can carry you from the neutral point to the point of life satisfaction.

This idea leans toward Maslow. If you dramatically lack hygiene factors, you would be disssatisfied with life. If you decently fulfill hygiene factors, you come to a neutral point but you aren’t satisfied. When you add up motivators on top of decent hygiene factors, you will be satisfied with life.

Therefore, fulfillment of hygiene factors is a prerequisite for satisfaction, but it is only the first step to bring you to point zero. Motivators will add up satisfaction.

Balancing Factors

Many people share a common illusion: “If I boost my hygiene factors as much as possible, my satisfaction will maximize”. However; this is often not the case.

To a certain degree, hygiene factors correspond to needs. After that point, they start corresponding to desires. Like all kinds of desires, the happiness provided by excess hygiene factors is temporary; and you need to possess more and more to feel the same level of happiness.

In other words, boosting hygiene factors makes it harder to enjoy anything; and gives no real satisfaction at all. That might be a reason why some people unsuccessfully seek pleasure in luxury possessions, high fashion, aesthetic enhancements, drugs, adrenaline sports, alcohol, peculiar sexual relations, etc. In fact, this is an infinite loop.

The way out of this loop is to introduce motivators into your life.

Do you keep improving yourself over the course of your life? How many people did you help improve in the last year? What do you do to contribute to the society and be a useful member of the world? What is the latest thing you learned from your mistakes? How much effort do you put into your clean conscience? Do you keep learning? Have you found your domains of success?

Motivators will vary from person to person; but one thing remains common: They are not external factors; instead, they are internal compensations. When you discover and place motivators on top of your hygiene factors, life satisfaction will follow.

The balance point between hygiene factors and motivators is defined by the boundary between your needs and desires.

Ideally; hygenie factors should fulfill your needs, and the remaining resources (such as time) can be allocated to motivators. If hygenie factors leak towards your desires, life imbalances might emerge.

Personal Example

In my life; I fulfill my hygenie factors using the money I make from SAP software architecture. I limit the quantity of items I possess; whenever I buy something new, I definitely give something else away – leading me to Possessional Minimalism . If I make a relatively expanse purchase, it is probably due to a quality factor I “need” – not something shallow that I “want”. This way, I intend to keep the hygenie factors at bay without leaking towards desires. I also try my best to stay within my budget by constantly asking Is That Too Expensive?

In terms of motivators, I write books and articles to share my knowledge on areas of my expertise. I also teach occasionally. Personal development via research and yoga is another central aspect of my life. Overall; I feel like I’m improving my being constantly, and helping others grow meanwhile.

Those are small highlights from my own life. I’m sure everyone can find or build their own.

Conclusion

As in many other subjects, “balance” is the key concept of the two factors. If you can’t fulfill your basic needs, you can’t really get any satisfaction from motivators; but  without any motivators, hygiene factors won’t satisfy you either.

Everyone is unique, and everyone can find a personal balance point of two factors.

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philosophy

İnsan Değişir Mi?

kendi alanımdaki araştırmalar; değişebilirlik bir kişilik özelliğidir diyor. yani her insan, belli bir değişime açıklık aralığıyla doğuyor ve sonradan yaşadıkları, bu aralıkta nerede konumlanacağını belirliyor.

kimi insan hayatı boyunca aynı koltuk, aynı TV, aynı restoran, aynı ofis, aynı müzik, vs ile çok mutlu olabilirken, değişikliğe tahammül bile edemezken, bir diğer insan bir sene aynı mahallede bile oturamaz.  bu işin psikolojik boyutu.

değişebilirlik, derinleştikçe zorlaşır bu da her kişide aynı – yani zorlaşma aynı. davranışsal şeyler kolay değişir – diş macununu ortadan sıkıyordur, sıkma dersin, sıkmaz, bitti. bir süre bilinçli alttan sıkar, sonra otomatik hale gelir davranış. o en kolay değişecek şey.

zihinsel şeyler biraz daha zor değişir. insanın teolojik, politik görüşleri, iş dünyası, hayat, astroloji, vs konularındaki fikirleri ve onlarla yaşaya yaşaya otomatikleşmiş düşünceleri, biraz daha mantıklı yaklaşma ve sık tekrarla “aa evet mantıklısı buydu!” diş macununa benzer şekilde değişebilir. daha zordur ama yapılabilir.

travmalara veya pozitif duygusal anılara dayanan şeyler çok daha zor değişir… mesela hayatı boyunca annesi babası tarafından başarısız ve işe yaramaz, elini neye atsa beceremeyeceği hissettirilmiş biri, hangi konuya adım atarsa atsın ve hangi yaşta olursa olsun başarısız olacakmış gibi davranır ve başarısız olur muhtemelen.  ya da “öcü alır, kadın kaçırır, hortlak yer, düşersin” filan diye sürekli korkutulan bir çocuk, çok güvenli ortamlarda bile hep bir şey olacakmış gibi hisseder, tikler geliştirebilir, bununla yüzleşmemek için savunma mekanizmaları, alternatif kimlikler gibi şeyler geliştirir. bunları ne sen değiştirebilirsin ne de kendi değiştirebilir, bunun için terapiye gitmesi gerekir. EMDR gibi güzel terapi yöntemleri var ama biraz sabır gerektirebilir.

hele ki ailede büyürken farkında olmadan problem ve travma dumanı soluyarak büyüdüyse… bu tarz travmalar ya big bang oluyor (biri taciz ediyor, birini kaybediyor, vs) ya da zamana yayılarak sinsice işliyor kendini… hangisi daha kötü bilmiyorum duruma bağlı. bazı hasta ilişkiler de bunlardan çıkar. biri öbürünü sever acır, ben bunu değiştiririm tedavi ederim, çok seversem ilgilenirsem serbest bıraktırabilirim der ama maalesef ki partner rolünde asla yapamazsın. ancak, dışarıda asla görmediğin ve görmeyeceğin profesyonel bir terapist yardımcı olabilir.

“biri maskesini düşürüp size gerçek yüzünü gösterdiğinde ona ilk seferinde inanın” diye bir söz vardır. oyun oynarken kazanınca / kaybedince verdiği tepki mesela; kendini başarısız hissedince bununla barışık mı, asabileşiyor mu?  başarılı hissedince o duyguya aç olduğunu mu hissediyor, başarıyı sindirmiş mi?

karşımızdaki kişinin bize duygusal zarar verdiği durumda onunla devam edip etmemek? şimdi ben aslanı “vay gitti zebrayı yedi” diye yargılamam, hayvan doğasını yaşıyor. ama gidip de aç aslanların arasına da oturmam. “aa ama bu çok bencilce, aslanların da okşanmaya ihtiyacı var” diyen çıkabilir. işte bencillikle, kendin zarar görüyorsan zararla arana mesafe koymak arasında bir fark var.

peki, ya başta olduğu gibi kabul ediyormuş gibi gözüktüğü kişiyi değiştirmek isteyenler?

bir insanı ilk tanıdığımızda, ilk dikkatimizi çeken istediğimiz veya benzediğimiz yönleri olur. ya da zıt yönleri, olmak istediğimiz bir şey görürüz. diğer olumsuzluklara karşı da bizi uyuşturan bir takım hormonlar var. ve en başta herkes birbirine ideal davranır. o ideal davranışlar bir yap-bozun çok ufak bir bölümünü oluşturur, ve farkındalığı düşük bir insan, kalan boşlukları kendi doldurur ve onu karşındakine hiç anlatmaz bile.

zaman içinde, kendi çizdiği şeylerin gerçekle uymadığını görünce de “ama ben seni böyle beklememiştim”ler çıkar, ya da “bunu değiştirebileceğimi düşünmüştüm”. yani aslında, farkındalığı yüksek olmayan biri, sana bakınca bir resim çiziyor kafasında – seni sen gibi bilme şansı yok. idealize ettiği birine kapılıyor – seninle ortak noktaları var ama sen değilsin. sonra aradaki farklar dökülünce de iş maalesef buraya gidiyor.

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philosophy

Soul Resonance

There is an ideal stance in which two souls resonate.

Sustained resonation requires a certain distance. If you move too far away, the distance might overcome the velocity of the frequency, making the motion fade out and the resonance disappear. Moving in too close is just as harmful – you would overdrive the soul, and the resonation doesn’t feel / sound / taste like a harmony any more. If you crowd the soul, it would rather feel like an overdriven instrument making feedback noises – you can hardly make any music in that state, and the overdriven soul might even get damaged.

Resonation is a magical movement. But it is a movement, nonetheless. If you tend to imprison another soul, you are stopping it from moving. A motionless soul can’t resonate. Therefore, you have to let it move the way it is meant to. Don’t worry, because if the resonance is real, the movement will look like a sine curve: The soul will get some distance, then it will come close again. In a sustained resonance, this motion will go on; there is nothing to worry about the temporary distance – it is simply part of the resonance process.

You are going to have to trust the distance and movement. You didn’t choose to resonate, it was a natural result of two souls with similar frequencies moving into a certain distance. If the resonation is real, trust the souls in moving back and forth – movement will sustain and empower the invisible frequency connection between the souls. If the resonation is real, trust the souls in distance – it is a natural part of the process. Every time you gain some distance, it only means that the soul will come close once again. The frequency will feel a bit more empowered every time it does.

Mutual freedom to move and gaining periodic distance are your friends, and part of the natural process. If the resonation is real, those are actually the very factors which will empower the invisible frequency connection between the souls. Sustained free movement forth & back in a certain distance will make the resonance much stronger over time. Keep them.

Starting the resonance is a natural process. Sustaining this balance can’t be achieved with intelligence alone though. Internal awareness, covering your mind, emotions, and soul is a prerequisite for both sides – as well as mutual empathy.

Life is no cakewalk, it is a bumpy road. Internal imbalance can happen from time to time – embrace and accept it as a part of movement and distance. If the resonation is real, they will move back to balance eventually. Give it time, trust time, because time is also part of resonance.

Resonance will continue as long as you keep moving and keep the ideal distance. However, remember the most basic ingredient which makes resonance possible at all: Similar frequencies. If one of the souls move forward to a higher frequency and stay there for a long time without the other one, the resonance will fade out eventually. This is a healthy thing actually – long term closeness of two dissonant frequencies is harmful for both souls. Accept it, and move forward to whatever else resonates you – that’s the new reality. If you have found a soul which moves forward to higher frequencies with the same pace, as slow or fast as you,  there is nothing to worry anyway. Temporary dissonances might occur when one soul shifts forward, but the harmony will come back when the other one joins.

Trust the divine principles, and the one who put them there.

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philosophy

Creation vs Evolution

Creation or evolution. The great debate. One of the frequently discussed, yet easily resolvable subjects.

If someone would tell you that a certain functionality within a software application implies that there is no programmer behind the application, it wouldn’t sound very wise would it? A functionality within a software application can’t be a proof that there is no programmer behind the application. If you see God as the divine programmer, and the universe as one of his applications, you will see that functionalities within this application does not mean that there is no programmer.

On the contrary; more complex, harmonized and well-built functionalities make you think that there is a “very good” programmer behind the application.

If God has created the reality that we partially know, and has built our universe on top of it, then everything in the universe should be within the boundaries of his will. Therefore, evolution should be part of the system created by him as well.

An apple growing on the tree does not contradict with the idea of creation, because it is part of a created and highly interactive system.

So is evolution. It is part of a created and highly interactive system. Therefore, it is also “created” as a functionality within the system, within the boundaries of the will of God.

There is really no direct correlation between evolution and God. It is just another functionality within God’s wisdom. Assuming evolution as a fact would not lead to the denial of God; and believing in God would not lead to the denial of evolution.

On the contrary; a complex functionality where entities are able to change their attributes to adapt to a changing environment, makes you believe even stronger that our system must be “designed” by the divine programmer, one and only.

Think about it.

Related: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yewkPIhKMxM

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philosophy

True Essence of Religion: Inner Animal vs Holy Spirit

What is religion? Everybody seems to have an answer for that. Today, I would like to talk about one of the more important, yet less recognized aspects of religion.

In it’s most basic understanding, religion provides rules and practices to manage the relations between human, God, nature and social life. Leaving nature and social life aside for a moment; it should provide a path, a connection between human and God.

Because if you hypothetically disconnect human from God, merely an animal is left.

To understand the most important aspect of the religion, we need to understand the structure of the human; which is obviously more than just another animal.

In it’s deepest level, human is the bearer of the holy spirit from God. As quoted from the Koran; “When I have fashioned him and breathed into him of My spirit, fall ye down in obeisance unto him.” (28:42).

One level above, we have the soul, and the most outer shell is the body. This three-level structure is also quoted in the Bible: “I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ” (1 Thessalonians 5:23).

You may be wondering what this has to do with the definition of religion. Be patient, answers are coming.

In a rough definition; “Spirit” may be defined as the level closest to God, and “Body” may be defined as the level closest to being an animal.

If we inspect the body level more closely, we will find that most of the instincts coming from it are related to the existence of our race. Three basic instincts related to that are survival, breeding and raising the child. Those instincts are typically seen on animals as well.

Survival has sub-dimensions like shelter, eating, socializing, fighting, learning. Breeding drives males to be more powerful and females to be more attractive. And raising drives parents to grow a successful child. Satisfaction those instincts are often related with pleasure, while dissatisfaction of them are related with pain.

At the body level, us humans share the same instincts with animals, and the same pleasure / pain in result. However, due to our raised intelligence, we have invented more sophisticated and comfortable ways of satisfying them.

If we inspect the soul level more closely, we will see that it’s made of two major components: the mind, and emotions. Mind covers all of our intellectual activities; such as ideas, logic and math. Emotions cover everything that we feel; mostly rooted down to either pleasure or pain.

This level is partially shared with animals on the emotion side. On the intellectual side, humans are more advanced.

The spiritual level is the level where words are not enough to describe anything. Experience is needed there. However; conscience, will and faith are the major keys opening that door.

Understanding the structure of the human, now we can move forward to the aspects of religion.

It is a question about what is the “pilot” of the human. Letting the instincts of the body-level be the pilot of oneself will lead one closer to being an animal. However, if the spirit is the pilot, then one will grow from being an animal to being a more of a sacred being.

Combining our animal instincts with our intellectual potential, humans are capable of doing terrible things to maximize impulsive pleasure and minimize impulsive pain. If one lets the animal be the pilot and lets it drive the rest, that would be even worse than being a simple animal. Because an animal doesn’t know better.

The combination of the animal instincts and the human intellect has typically been symbolized by an entity, such as the devil, in many cases. Just pay attention that the illustration of the devil is often a combination of human and animal elements. Now you know why.

Following the so called “devil” is defined as sin, and sin is typically a result of letting the animal instincts become the pilot, and other levels to become a slave to the pleasure and/or pain it promises.

Remember the seven deadly sins; which are: wrath, greed, sloth, pride, lust, envy and gluttony. Considering the previous chart, you can easily see the that the sins are rooted to the instincts of the body, which are boosted by the intelligence.

One of the most significant aspects of the religion is to provide a path from being an animal to becoming the sacred being. The first step would typically be mastering the body and making sure that it does not pilot of our lives. Common practices involve direct threats to the body; such as eating less (sometimes not at all), controlling sexual desires and being less dependent from wealth.

The second level involves practices targeting the soul; meaning intelligence and emotions. Knowing that every single human being is carrying the spirit of God is enough reason to love others – even sinners. Being kind to those less fortunate is essential. However, the mind and the hearth are not the last stop in this journey. Emotions make us aware, and intelligence is a magnificent tool. But there is much more beyond.

Every religion has brought it’s own methodology to move from the limits of the mind & hearth to the inner realm of spirit; such as prayers or meditation. Those methods increase the inner mindfulness; and open up a path beyond words. An increased mindfulness of conscience, will and faith will be the first observations of that level.

The journey does never end; however, at some point, you may experience the ultimate experience of existence, which is a direct confrontation of the ultimate unspeakable truth. There are many names of that experience; such as nirvana, enlightenment, awakening, moksha and opening the third eye.

One of the most significant aspects of religion is to provide a path from being an animal to being enlightened. Different teachers have provided different paths in the past. However, there is only one God and one truth. Therefore, there is actually only one religion with different practice options.

The reason that people need a religion for that purpose is; without the guidance of someone who has been there before, we can never be sure that we are on the right path.

Starting from Abraham, the mid-eastern prophets reciting the word of God, suggested a path balancing the body, soul and spirit. This path uses the nature and social life as tools of maturation, and can be applied easily to every day lives. Other teachers in other communities may have suggested different paths.

However, it is very important to be aware of the real goal of the path and its practices. Just like a human has multiple levels, practices and rules of the religion has multiple levels as well. Applying the tangible physical practices is the first step, but remember that this is actually an inner journey. More valuable rewards will be the inner rewards.

A very large number of people can be observed implementing the outmost practices. The quantity of people making their intellectual and emotional advancements is smaller; and passing through the gate of the spiritual level is actually a relatively rare occurrence. Rare, but precious.

“All for what?” , you may ask. Religion and all of its teachers state that life does not end when the outer shell has stopped functioning. Which makes sense; because the spirit of God can’t just stop “being”. Different explanations, such as heaven / hell or reincarnation have been used, but the common message is; the life after the outer shell will be either an experience of pleasure, or an experience of pain.

Where you stand, will be dependent on how much you have advanced from being an animal to becoming a sacred being.

One of the most significant aspects of religion is to provide you a way to advance.

Following is your choice.

Related: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5grxr2k7uw

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